i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
one might say we're banned from that church
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
