Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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