she looked like the bat from fern gully.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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