My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize