I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
