my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she peed on how many people?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
