i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
