btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
