Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize