I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
