Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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