I wanna passion pit in your ass
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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