So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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