Sponge bath it is.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
