I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
