Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Never underestimate the power of titties
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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