so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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