ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
