Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
