I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
