IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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