Define "chronic" masturbator.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
