I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize