I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
