I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
