Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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