i will never coherently bang her
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
