i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
