K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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