Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
