I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
ttyl tear gas
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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