I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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