also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
