thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
