4 words: hood of his car
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize