Where is the hickey?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
