Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
