We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
