I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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