Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
