dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
