I just saw a hot homeless man
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
