Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
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