If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
