erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
