Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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