Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
