shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
