my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
