When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
