We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
