You just made me feel so damn special
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
