i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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