so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i think my mom watched the whole time
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
FUCK WHALES
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
