You're so nebulous sometimes
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
