its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Of course I have a pirate flag
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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