thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
are you so shy because you have an std?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
