Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
