The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
