I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
