dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
